Rough Trade

Well done, Cadbury, for leaping into action so quickly.

You see, I do like those new Cluster things. But I was really disturbed to find a number of them were - I won't beat about the bush - a bit scuffed. I, like so many of you, like my Clusters to be smooth. If I want rough, I'll eat a Flake.

Like I didn't have enough to worry about. I'm already trying not to do sex while I'm walking.

So I wrote to Cadbury* with my concerns.

Dear Cadbury,

I was really disturbed upon opening a packet of your new Cluster things to find a number of them were - I won't beat about the bush - a bit scuffed.

It's not so much the scuffing that's upset me - I've been around the block and I know that life isn't perfect - as the unexpectedness of it.

Is there not some way you could prepare me and other lovers of the smoother Cluster that there is a possibility of scuffing? This would alleviate the crushing disappointment.

Yours sincerely,

Graham Bandage

And today... 

I don't mind saying it's reawakened my faith in humanity.

* It's Cadbury these days, not Cadbury's. I think the apostrophe-s migrated to Tesco's in Liverpool.