Chrissie Hynde Has Ruined My Life

I was reading one of those questionnaire things in the Observer Magazine. This week's subject was Chrissie Hynde out of The Pretenders. Now don't get me wrong*, but what she said was frankly disconcerting.

They asked Miss Hynde (impertinently, in my opinion): Is sex important to you?

This was her reply: "I guess it is, but that doesn't mean I have to have it. Sex can be just about the way you walk down the street."

Now that is an eye-opener. I've been round the block. I know things. I've watched documentaries on Five. I thought I was unshockable.

But I did not know that, walking down the street, I could be looking at people walking towards me . . . and they're doing SEX!!! Blatantly!!! Not caring who is watching!!!

I don't know, maybe they do care. Maybe that's part of their sick thrill. I mean, how dare they? How bloody dare they?

Now it all becomes clear. All those people standing there, smoking outside my office. They're having post-coital cigarettes, aren't they?

I don't know. I thought there was enough to worry about in this world, without worrying about walking down the road and accidentally doing sex.

I hate Chrissie Hynde now. There's no way I'm becoming vegetarian after this.

* I am so clever. You see, Don't Get Me Wrong is a Pretenders song. I tried to weave other Pretenders titles in, but it proved too tricky.