imnotspam

My Facebook Fatigue idea was such a massive success, I've decided to branch out a bit.

But let me first tell you about the Online Untouchables. The poor souls who would love to form meaningful relationships in this connected world. But they keep getting the knockback from spam filters because they have peculiar names.

One of these people told me about his plight. "Bill" (not his real name, his real name is KXVXAG V1agra Gomez) said: "Facebook and Twitter are not for the likes of us. I pop in a friend request and am shunned. Then I try to follow somebody on Twitter and I get blocked. I just don't know what to do."

He put me in touch with "Fran" (her real name is Sxxxygrrl125, named after her grandmother). She was equally nonplussed by her manifold rejections.

"You know," said Fran, "when I'm out in town, I'm never short of male attention. For some reason, my weird skin complaint which means I can't wear many clothes without coming out in hives doesn't put them off.

"But when I go online, and try to find genuine friends who'll be happy to discuss my collection of horny Viking helmets and my inability to regulate my body temperature which makes me hot all the time, I get nowhere. And believe me, some of the comments I do receive are very rude and hurtful."

There's a gap in the market here and I'm going to fill it. I'm setting up imnotspam.com, a social networking site for people with peculiar names. In a way, it's a public service. In another, it's a method to make a lot of money.

I've publicised it on Twitter and I've already got 986 followers.

This will definitely work.