Blameless

Why are we blaming the poor pigs for this horrible new strain of flu which you might have heard about briefly on the news? How on earth do we know that pigs have it in the first place?

MIGUEL:
Eh, Jose, what's up with you?

JOSE:
You know, Miguel, I don't feel so good. I think I'm coming down with the flu.

MIGUEL:
The flu? What? Is it going around little Rosita's school?

JOSE:
No. I think I caught it from the peeegs.

MIGUEL:
The peeegs? How do you know?

JOSE:
I've been watching them for days, amigo. They've been snuffling, snorting and generally lying about. Classic flu symptoms, I think you'll agree. Do you want to finish these refried beans?

MIGUEL:
Better not.

It's probably quite hard to quantify. It's not like pigs have jobs to do and even if they did, it would be difficult, if not nigh on impossible, for them to hold a phone in their trotters to ring in sick.

I don't think I've ever heard a pig sneeze, but I imagine it would look quite funny, if a bit messy.