A Boss Sets An Example To His Staff

Today's Guardian front page:




















But wait! Who's got the prime front page byline, reporting from Washington DC on this historic occasion?





















Hats off to Alan Rusbridger, the editor of The Guardian, here exemplifying the mantra of the successful boss: "Never ask your staff to do something you wouldn't be prepared to do yourself."

Fruit

Who invented the names of fruit? I have often wondered.

I imagine there was a Fruit Naming Board. And here I am, imagining it...

INT. FRUIT NAMING BOARD - DAY

BOSS:
Right, what have we got next?

LACKEY:
There's this one, Clive. This round, orange thing.

BOSS:
Skin's a bit tough.

LACKEY:
Yeah, you peel it off. And if you squeeze it, I reckon you could sell the juice in tiny bottles in pubs for a fortune.

BOSS:
Right. So it's round, and it's orange... I think a name suggests itself. We'll call it ... a round.

LACKEY:
Won't that cause confusion in pubs, Clive?

BOSS:
All right, an orange, then. What's next?

LACKEY:
Bit of bad news on the grape front.

BOSS:
What?

LACKEY:
Swindon's already claimed it for those little round ones that come in bunches.

BOSS:
Ah, bollocks! All right, we'll call it a yellow.

LACKEY:Clive, you can't just name fruits after their colour all the time. Besides, I think Swindon's got first dibs on that for the long curved thing they found.

BOSS:
Oh, this is just stupid. I know! I know the very thing that will stop the confusion. We'll call ours a grape-fruit.

LACKEY:
What? To distinguish it from the other sort of grape that's also a fruit?

BOSS:
Ian, who's the boss here? Next?

LACKEY:
We've got this peach. It's sweet as nectar, but, and here's the thing, it's got smooth skin.

BOSS:
What? It's got no fur and it's sweet as nectar, Ian? Nectar, Ian... Hmm, I know! An alo-peach-ia!

I bet that's exactly how it happened.