tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9555080350386386752024-03-13T08:36:47.917+01:00Graham Bandage's Lovely WorldRed Planet Finalist - Occasionally Read By One Of The Blokes Who Wrote The Episode Of The Thick Of It In Which Malcolm Tucker Was SackedGary Bainbridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03905277818833117885noreply@blogger.comBlogger152125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-54233731808209741472010-01-03T20:23:00.000+01:002010-01-03T20:23:55.821+01:00New Year, New PlaceI've moved this blog to Wordpress, basically to wind you all up. It's at http://grahambandage.wordpress.com
You can still access all the old stuff here. But if you want any new stuff, you might want to have a fiddle with your bookmarks and that.
I'm keeping Unhelpful Reviews on Blogger, though.
OK, bored now. See you over at Wordpress.Gary Bainbridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03905277818833117885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-48144905568785551152009-12-24T11:11:00.002+01:002009-12-24T11:13:13.313+01:00Terrible Confusion At The GrammiesUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-42607470204094607612009-12-22T15:28:00.004+01:002009-12-22T15:44:54.034+01:00Disappointing Christmas Decorations No. 2Today's example comes from Franklins Deli in Liverpool. It is a new venture which has a lot of red splashed here and there, so it is difficult to know whether the red candles are part of the everyday decor. To be honest, it's the sort of place which could have massive red candles all over the place. The teeny tiny ickle red tree hiding in the middle of the picture is definitely a Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-68650217163109880522009-12-15T16:57:00.004+01:002009-12-15T17:03:51.653+01:00Graham's BandagesUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-86185888386694840492009-12-15T14:40:00.003+01:002009-12-15T14:57:05.938+01:00Disappointing Christmas Decorations No. 1 Over the next couple of weeks I hope to highlight some of the slightly disappointing Christmas decorations I have encountered.Today's example comes from the newsroom of the Liverpool Daily Post and Echo.If you have any examples of your own, please contact me at my Twitter address @GrahamBandage, and I'll put it up here. The most disappointing will win a prize. An actual prize.Many thanks.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-89124580784288169212009-12-11T15:14:00.002+01:002009-12-11T15:20:01.336+01:00The Friday Interview: The Rich Man Who Used To Be A Market TraderIn the latest of our series of interviews, Graham Bandage talks to Andrew Andrews, a man who went from being a humble market trader to one of the richest men in Britain.Graham Bandage: Andrew Andrews, you've got a shedload of money.Andrew Andrews: I should say so. Although I must say, I don't keep my money IN a shed. Banks are safer and more convenient.GB: It's a shame, in a way. Imagine having aUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-24158820917336699122009-12-07T11:19:00.004+01:002009-12-07T11:22:26.693+01:00Back To LiberalismNo, it's no good. I can't keep up the frothing certainty and hatred.I'll have to try something else to get my blog stats up. I might try niche pornography. Possibly passive-aggressive porn where a lady disports in the nip, but with a disapproving expression.That will definitely work.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-45384331042935937502009-12-07T11:11:00.003+01:002009-12-07T11:16:02.215+01:00Prominent Secret JewsThese days I'm shining the light of truth on the Godless/liberal/Marxist/Jewish conspiracy. It's a right old struggle, let me tell you. Anyway, if there isn't a big Jewish conspiracy to run the world, why are so many Jews hidden in public life? Answer me that, huh, huh?Oh, you don't think there are any hidden Jews in public life? Then let me start at the top.Number 1: The PopeHe's definitely Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-9074478911787942142009-12-07T10:19:00.000+01:002009-12-07T10:20:06.326+01:00A Massive Change Of DirectionI haven't had as many people reading this blog over the past few weeks. I reckon it's because I'm a woolly liberal obsessed by unlikely soup and people saying inappropriate things in cartoon form.No longer.Today, my dear readers, I shall join the ranks of the right-wing conspiracy theory bloggers. That should put my readership right up. More later.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-68037280033889841882009-12-04T17:57:00.003+01:002009-12-04T18:05:01.897+01:00The Perfect Christmas DinnerPeople often ask me, "Bandage, why don't you ever do a Q&A session on the perfect Christmas dinner." Usually, I reply along the lines of "It's July, you mentalist." But this seems like the ideal opportunity. If you have any questions of your own, please don't hesitate to ask and I shall endeavour to respond...Q. I have 12 people coming on Christmas Day. What size turkey should I get?A. Quite Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-8031579365445676352009-11-27T18:31:00.005+01:002009-11-27T18:41:42.976+01:00The Friday Interview - The Celebrity Abbreviation ConsultantIn the latest of our series of Friday Interviews, Graham Bandage talks to Tommy Cannon (no relation) about his work as a celebrity abbreviation consultant.Graham Bandage: Tell me how this whole thing started.Tommy Cannon: It was back in the late 70s, during the national typeface strike. It cost us a fortune at the Daily Mirror to reproduce the Prime Minister's name in headlines because letters Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-72747541409120209952009-11-26T15:18:00.005+01:002009-11-26T15:22:16.888+01:00Painting The Town Red SensiblyLook at these nice girls. They're having a cracking time, aren't they?But are they? I don't think so. I think that it's just occurred to them that they've forgotten something very important.I have noticed in recent times that ladies out on the town rarely remember their coats. This baffles me, as I never forget mine, especially when it's chilly.I wonder perhaps if there's some sort of chemical inUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-22290083488770396132009-11-20T16:46:00.003+01:002009-11-20T16:52:21.204+01:00The Amazing Adventures Of Inappropriate Richard: Episode 6And this one is an true story. I witnessed it. I was there.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-65645818901826513082009-11-20T14:48:00.001+01:002009-11-20T14:49:37.213+01:00On Second Thoughts...I think I'd better cancel those hippo poison-laced suppositories I ordered.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-89921060499341186082009-11-19T01:42:00.000+01:002009-11-19T01:42:23.916+01:00Rat's Entertainment(Warning: do not click on the YouTube thing if you've got a thing about not seeing people regurgitate rats.)
Buying prescription drugs over the internet is a bad idea. You don't need me to tell you that. Let this chap below tell you that instead.
I'm a bit baffled by that advert. The point it seems to want to make is that you shouldn't buy drugs over the internet because there might be rat Gary Bainbridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03905277818833117885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-83639909688841298072009-11-17T16:59:00.002+01:002009-11-17T17:03:05.123+01:00Falling Off The PerchI was saddened beyond words to hear about the bird-fanciers fair in North Wales which took place in a hall with a mild gas leak, leading to the tragic deaths of 38 budgies.I'm no expert in these matters, but I reckon not having a gas leak is the first thing that bird-fanciers would expect. It probably beats the availablilty of biscuits and adequate car parking.I particularly feel sorry for the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-9417811847717960032009-11-17T00:55:00.004+01:002009-11-17T01:01:53.666+01:00Because There Just Isn't Enough Of Me In This (Lovely) WorldI have started a new blog. It's not going to replace this blog. Think of it as like when you have another child. You don't love the old child any less, do you? Not unless you're one of those dysfunctional children's authors or your first child wasn't quite up to snuff.Anyway, it's here.When one has more than one blog, that turns oneself into a media group. I'd better go and put a call in to Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-84650953861157317582009-11-12T15:40:00.001+01:002009-11-12T15:43:27.835+01:00Beef Tea: ReduxRight, I've been to one of the coffee shops and I think I've been too naive. Anyway, I've had a rethink.INT. "MOO" - DAYTERRY IS IN THE QUEUE AT THE BOVRIL SHIP - NAMED "MOO" - AND IT'S HIS TURN TO BE SERVED.BARISTA:And how can I help you, sir?TERRY:Bovril, please.BARISTA:Calf, Cow or Bull?TERRY:Eh?BARISTA:Small, medium or large?TERRY:Oh, er, cow.BARISTA TAKES OUT GIGANTIC CARDBOARD CUP AND GOES Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-64149356476797132512009-11-12T15:17:00.002+01:002009-11-12T16:07:23.163+01:00Beef TeaI don't know if you've noticed that there are a lot of coffee shops about these days. Well there are. A lot.My good friend Inappropriate Richard reckons a Bovril shop would be a money-spinner, but I wasn't too sure. Anyway, I had a think about it, and I imagine he's right. And here I am, imagining it.INT. BOVRIL SHOP - DAYTERRY IS IN THE BOVRIL SHOP QUEUE AND IT'S HIS TURN TO BE SERVED.BARISTA:Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-89874791986000967052009-11-09T16:38:00.000+01:002009-11-09T16:38:03.218+01:00The Penny TrapI just went to the shop. I won't tell you what I went for, this isn't one of those confessional blogs, but the item I bought cost me £1.09. I tell you what, I'll let you in on which shop it was. It was the Sainsbury's Local over the road. My road, not yours. Unless you work with me. I'm going down a cul-de-sac. Not the road. The road isn't a cul-de-sac. I'm drowning. Help.
So, anyway, I handed Gary Bainbridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03905277818833117885noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-22095113837399755732009-11-09T13:24:00.001+01:002009-11-09T13:24:37.125+01:00The Amazing Adventures Of The Vague BirdwatchersGary Bainbridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03905277818833117885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-10699182865651786832009-11-05T16:48:00.003+01:002009-11-05T16:53:10.160+01:00The Amazing Adventures Of Inappropriate Richard: Episode 5Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-35197851244848234452009-11-05T13:53:00.003+01:002009-11-05T13:55:24.517+01:00The Amazing Adventures Of Inappropriate Richard: Episode 4Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-72072340158907800332009-11-03T15:39:00.002+01:002009-11-03T15:42:16.896+01:00The Amazing Adventures Of Inappropriate Richard: Episode 3Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-955508035038638675.post-91609773101638291432009-11-03T14:58:00.001+01:002009-11-03T15:01:12.326+01:00The Amazing Adventures Of Inappropriate Richard: Episode 2Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0